Ego Death

I have to give myself up –

over to you –

that is.

I’d like to crumple in your grip,

my grief,

dried papers dusting the patio.

I’ve spent a lot of time

looking up

and down

at you,

orbescent, omnieverythingever,

you.

Spiders weaving traps,

the hardening of the soft things,

and the violent vanquished

rip, the tear

to unleash the new, the old, the

cram-packed seed of

you.

I have to give myself over to you,

luminescent matriarch,

checkerboarding my every waking moment.

I have to give myself up.

Break me down into particles,

atoms, pixels, and ash.

Spaghettified and nameless,

I would still reek of you, in my tiny mirrors,

and mini portals.

I stub it out, looking

up and down at you.

The whole world takes a breath,

rising just to fall.

This poem by E J Cope is featured in the new After Hours Creative Community Spring Anthology.